Character Wackyparse Sarah Fünke

We interviewed the cast of The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. What we didn’t tell our interviewees, was what kind of questions we would ask them. So here is a perfectly correct representation of Sarah. Enjoy!

1. How do you prepare for a zombie apocalypse?

I don’t prepare at all. If a zombie apocalypse happens, I will probably be dead within the first day and I am weirdly okay with that…

2. Describe WE in three words.

Communicative, developing, ambitious.

3. Which Disney hero character would you be?

I am not sure I would be a hero. Personally, I think it would be more fun to be a villain. But if I were a hero, if I could choose, it would be Anna from Frozen. If I think which is more relatable, it would be Megara from Hercules.

4. If I gave you 3000 Euros now, what would you do with it?

For 3000 Euros, I would give half of the money to my parents which will pay back lot of my debt. If some money was left, I would spend it on a really nice day with boyfriend, doing and some nice food. Basically what I always do when I get some money.

5. Do you hold any records?

I don’t officially but I am really good at opening medical packages on the wrong side, where there is the bijsluiter (whatever that is in English) and no one else can do that as well as I can, probably.

6. Name 3 vegetables that will be the only vegetables you ever get to eat again.

That’s actually easy, Zucchini, Tomato and I guess…..Hmmm… I thought it was easy. Oh, Paprika! I forgot the name. It’s what I eat in almost all of my recipes anyway. It’s so variable. It is a shame I cannot add cucumber because it’s my favourite, which by the way is a Fruit and not a Vegetable ;). Probably that disqualifies it anyway.

Aren’t Tomatoes fruits as well? Huh…Then I am going with Onions, for flavour. Zucchini is a fruit too, also paprika, fuck! What vegetables are left :O. Then Onions, Sweet potato and normal potatoes, that’s my final answer.

7. What did you want to become when you were a kid?

A Marine Biologist or an Anthropologist or an Archaeologist. All of these in rotation or at the same time!

8. Which century would you go to for a visit?

I think probably everything in the past is shitty. I would rather go to the future to see what’s going on with me and my lovely boyfriend….no. See if the world still exists in 2050, global warming and shit!

9. If you were a plant, what would you be?

I would be an Acacia tree because I really like Acacia tree and being a tree is really cool. Time probably moves differently when you are a tree, you can see so many things changing, and there are little worries except for when people cut you down! But I would be a very pretty Acacia tree.

10. You get to lead the world for a day, what’s the first thing you would do?

A day alone to lead the world is not much time. So, I don’t think I will throw cultures or societies into a frenzy by just putting in laws. Instead I will establish structures such as general funding to make sure that new leaders around the world would be properly thought in ethics and political theories. I would establish gender neutral language for most existing countries, make sure sex work is legalized and de-stigmatized, I will make lobbying illegal. A lot of things which I don’t think I will be able to do it in one day. So, first I will talk to someone I trust which things I should tackle first while I am in power.

11. Do you crumple or fold your toilet paper?

Obviously fold my toilet paper, because only barbarians crumple their toilet paper. Who actually the fuck crumples their toilet paper? Like literally who does it? Because I have a strong opinion about this!

and finally…

12. Are you a black horse or a white horse?

Get away with saying that I am both because of my bipolar shit. Because if that’s the card I can play, I am going to play that card.

Written by Piyush Sharma.