Character Wackyparse  Anssi Kemppainen 

We interviewed the cast of The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. What we didn’t tell our interviewees, was what kind of questions we would ask them. So here is a perfectly correct representation of Anssi. Enjoy!

1. Anssi, who would you most likely drunk dial?

I would probably call my ex…. colleague, actually, not girlfriend. I’ve done it once before. I hadn’t seen him in like 5 years, I was really drunk and for some reason it occurred to me that I really need to call him. I hardly remember what I told him, but I think it was something important. 

2. If you were a plant, what would you be? 

Oh yeah, I would be blue bell. There’s a beautiful song, a Finnish song, about those flowers and that came to my mind right away.

3. How many cows do you think there are in the NL?

You mean dead or alive? I think there must be 20 million alive and 5 million dead cows at the moment. You mean slaughtered? Yeah, I read somewhere that the Dutch eat most beef per capita in the world. That was actually surprising, I thought it would be the Americans.

4. If you were a superhero, what would your power be? 

I would be convincing. Is that even a kind of superhero? [See Kilgrave in Marvel’s Jessica Jones]. I think words are always more effective than any other power, and to be very convincing in what you tell people, that’s the biggest power you can have.

5. Have you had herring? Describe. 

If you mean the Dutch herring specifically, I think it’s nice. Very special, but very good, I like herring. And here they eat it with the onion and (indicates dipping it in his mouth). Yeah it’s very nice.

6. If I gave you 3 000 euro now, what would you do with it?

I would buy a very nice suit. The most expensive that I can think of, Boss or some like that. Generally it wouldn’t occur to me to buy expensive clothes, so I feel like a three thousand euro suit would actually be quite cool to have.

7. Describe WE in three words:

Fearless, (very) open, and spontaneous. That’s how I feel and experience it. This was maybe the hardest question so far.

8. Do you hold any records?

The university I worked at in Finland had a heptathlon and I won two years in a row. I guess it’s not really a record but I was so proud. I’ve never been very sporty, and many people came up to me later and said ‘I didn’t know you were that sporty’.
… On the other hand, it could be that it an easy win because many of those people are not that…

9. You get to lead the world for one day, what’s the first thing that you do?

I would probably change all energy systems totally. Let’s say that by some miracle we’re able to replace all fossil fuels. Don’t know if it would work out, but if I could, I would make the change. 

10. Now let’s say you’re only allowed to eat three types of vegetables from this day, which would you pick?

(After a drawn out session of us both trying to figure out the name): Leek. And asparagus, I’ve learned to like it here in the Netherlands. And the last one, I think must be potato.

11. What would you have as a final meal before your death penalty?

Maksalaatikko [a very Finnish dish, in English translated to liver casserole].

12. What makes you unique?

That would be my character. But I think that’s everyone. I like my character, in English it’s a little harder, I feel that I’m not able to tell good stories like I do in Finnish.

and finally…

13. Are you a black horse or a white horse?

A white horse. I think this white horse is a little sweeter, and with the black horse… Stallone and these kind of characters come to mind, and I feel that’s not part of me.

Written by Alexandra Granberg.